Presents for Wife

You know how, sooner or later, all conversations turn to what each woman got from her husband on her birthday / anniversaries / Valentine Days, etc.... Yes, we women are like that. We do compare notes...

Most of my friends and colleagues used to happily tell me about the flowers, jewellery, clothes, bags & other presents that they got. On Valentines, on Birthdays, on Anniversaries.... Wow !

Me ? Well, its a little embarassing... Let me see.... Birthdays? Nope, nothing !
Anniversaries? uh, uh! no such luck
Yes, once, I think.... Oh yes, I remember now. It was 8 years ago - yes, before we got married - He gave me a rose. .....Yes, Yes, I'm positive, that was the last one I received...

(Had I known it will be such a rare occurrence, I promise you, I'd have it mounted and framed in our house.)

Earlier, I used to sneak to his phone's calendar function & set alarms for buying presents. 30 days before Birthday: "Wife's birthday coming up. Buy a nice present". Repeat calendar function every week until D-day to ensure "I forgot" can't be an excuse.

But, come D-day, and husband would happily present himself empty-handed.
He: Happy Birthday
Me: Thanks.

still nothing
.............................some more waiting...

By the end of day, I'm a little disappointed & a lot annoyed.....
Me : Do you know A's husband bought her a diamond bracelet on her birthday?
He : So?
Me : You never buy me anything
He : Whaa-aaat? Why would you want me to buy you stuff?
Me : Well it is my birthday today
He : So? Ok, Come here, I'll give you a much better present. I'll give you a kiss
Me : A kiss! I don't want a kiss! I want a present.
He : A present? You can buy whatever you want - why drag me into it?
Me : Because all the other husbands buy their wives stuff & then I feel jealous
He : Oh, you know men buy wives presents when they are having an affair. Guilty conscience!!
Me : ALL my friends husbands are having an affair ALL the time?
He : Well, its a depraved world out there !
Me : Never mind, you buy me stuff to show me you love me.
He : But I dont!
Me : Just pretend you do
He : Ok, ok....but why would a strong, confident woman like you wait for a mere man to give her stuff...its sooo "weak"
Me : I don't care. I want to be weak. I just want something on my birthday. Put in the effort of buying me something. But remember, I have to like it !
He : Don't be silly. If I buy it, how can you like it? Its an oxymoron
Me : Mummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously, I don't like to tell people this (at least not the snooty ones - No, you aren't stuck-up. You can'e be - look at you, you're as pathetic as me! I write sidey blogs; and you're reading it). So, anyway, after a while I decided I just can't wait around for husband to be buying me presents. I had to do something -----

Me (gleefully) : Husband, thank you! You bought me a really nice present for Valentines
He : What did I buy? What did I buy ?
Me : You bought me a Purse.
He (anxiously) : Wow! Did I spend a lot of money?
Me (determinedly) : Of course you did! Purses (or diamonds) dont come cheap. Its branded and limited edition. You really went through a lot of effort to get it for me.
He : Really! Wife likes it ? I'm happy! Can I see it ?
Me : Of course. See, its beautiful, I love it !!!! You really know what I like !
He (full of it) : I do have good taste, dont I?
Me (also full of it) : Yes you do, you married me, didn't you. Here's the credit card receipt. Don't forget to pay the bill. Its due next week ! Thank you hubband !
He : Happy Valentines Day
Me : You too

...and we live happily ever after


Life 2.0 said...

Tomorrow is my birthday and it is the worst recession in the USA since the 1920's and will there be a present?

Us December babies in Christiandom, have always gotten a combined christmas birthday gift pushed at us. My birthday being a week before Jesus's birthday(really a pagan holiday, since the little boy was born in the spring) is more like a - Ohhhh SH*T, there is only a week before Xmas and there is too much to do and my birthday is forgotten until after the new year. Sad, but true.