Made bread

Made bread. Yes I had the time. Remember I'm unemployed ?
Yes! I know, all of you think its a good thing. Yes, I also know I'm the only one who's bothered about this state-of-life.

So anyway, yes ! I made bread
No, It wasn't so difficult
I surprised myself.
It gave me a big kick. I didn't know I could.

Have I felt this pleasure before ?

What pleasure, you ask ?
Well, pleasure of seeing the bread rise the way it ought to
The pleasure of creating stuff from scratch with no machines
The pleasure of it smelling yummy
The pleasure of not being able to wait because the smell of cinnamon is driving you nuts
The pleasure of tasting nuts and knowing THIS is the real thing
The pleasure of looking at a foccacia and thinking - hey this looks just like from the bakery
The pleasure of a coffee and a cinnamon roll you actually made yourself
The pleasure of biting into it and it actually tasting good
The pleasure of feeding it to husband (wow! good job) and kids (ma! I don' wan')
The pleasure of passing it to friends
The pleasure of seeing the look of admiration & surprise

Well, it is pleasure with a capital P.

I need to do this more often.
One of those instances in my life which fall under the category of "Simpler pleasures in life"

Caught up with an aunt in ages. She's 80 and lonely. Sooo happy to talk to me. Every few minutes she'd say - OK, I'm sure you have to go now- and want to hang up. And be pleased when I'd say I'm in no hurry to hang up. We ended up chatting for 40 minutes. Towards the end she said no one wants to talk to her these days and that she's almost retreating in herself and consoling herself that this is life...

Made me think. Is this what I will end up as ? Lonely? Sad ? Helpless ? Resigned ?

I look at my Nani, who's over 90 - who has only one complaint from life (I think). She says she can't make her body obey her. It seems like the body has a mind of its own. Its frail & it prevents her from doing things that her mind is perfectly capable of.

How frustrating must a situation like this be? You're old and feeble; and there's nothing wrong with your mind. But you need assistance to walk, to eat, to get up, to use the toilet, for just about everything... You have to wait till people have the inclination (forget about the time) to talk to you. Your opinions are suddenly not important or relevant; and let's not even talk about your desires. You suddenly turn into a part of the house - the furniture ?Something that's always been there, something that has to be dusted ?

The sad part is that people around you are not unkind to you because they want to be unkind. Its the apathy that's killing. What do old people want ?

I am totally convinced that what the elderly need is time. They want opportunities for conversation; an opportunity to contribute. They need to be useful & wanted.

I remember my other grandmother. She lived with my parents off and on. And I remember one thing very clearly - the amount of time my dad would spend with her. After work, he made it a point to go rest in the adjoining bed, to chat up with her about her day or his. I like to think she enjoyed that time; and that she cherished it. Of course, it helped that we were young kids in the house and caused enormous hustle and bustle.

I wonder if we do that now i.e take time out for the parents. I certainly am guilty of a certain amount of apathy. So I don't necessarily take the time to talk to my in-laws at home or my parents over phone. And the parents are so understanding. They don't demand attention. They sit back & patiently tell themselves - its OK, things are different now. The children have busy lives and don't need any more intrusions.

But this situation needs to change.Of course, the biggest change I need to bring about is in me. I need to devote more time and attention to both sets of parents. Easier said than done. But let me try...


We and the world, are actually a wash basin.
Bhagwan-ji takes water & gargles. When he spits out the water, that's rain for us.
When he has taken a little too much water in his mouth & he spits that out, the rain is heavier...

Professor's theory on Rainfall.