My husband's KRAs

It is the new year. Every year, in the beginning of the year, companies make the employees think about their goals and the Key Result Areas (or KRAs) that would be used for measuring their performance at the work place.

I've decided that I too need to assess my husband's performance. The following are the KRAs that shall now apply to him with immediate effect. Of course he doesn't know it (No, he doesn't read my blog!!!!). Go thru' it. Tell me if you want to make additions to it; but if you're planning to use it, don't feel free because I need royalties.

Section 1 : Work Life Balance

1. No. of days he came home at 6:00pm or before
Total no. of days worked

2. No. of days he brought work home

3. No of days of travel
a. No of days of travel to interesting places where wife wasn't taken
b. No of instances of travel when wife didn't get anything interesting

4. No. of extra hours that he did office work while at home

5. No. of official phone calls he attended while on "home" time

Section 2: Quality Time with wife
This can be measured by the following surrogate measures -
1. No of birthdays/ anniversaries / important days missed
Fine Print : Important days = Anniversaries of the day we met, day we saw our first movie together, day he gave me our first flower, day he met my dad, day he met the rest of my family, day he met my aunt twice removed, day we had sex for the 1st time, day we had sex for the 100th time, the last time we had sex, the first time we had a fight, day we made up, day we left for our first holiday and whatever else he thinks was special

2. No of lunches and dinners he took wife too

3. No of presents he bought for wife.
Note : Special bonus for buying diamonds

4. No. of days he babysat the kids while wifey went shopping

5. No of days of work he bunked office to come spend time with wife

6. No. of vacations taken per year.
a. No of vacations taken per year with wife + kids
b. No of vacations taken per year with wife alone

Section 3: Financial Performance
1. Amount earned very month -often also known as Monthly take-home salary

2. Net increase in salary
a. % increase in salary Year on Year (YOY)
b. % increase in salary for every year of marriage

3. Amount of money spent by wife shopping
a. Gross Amount spent by wife shopping this year
b. % increase in shopping amounts YOY

c. Amount of money wife spent without having husband give her weird looks

Section 4: Display of Love

1. No. of times he said "I love you" even though wife was NOT holding a gun to his head

2. No of massages given to wife per month

3. No of phone calls that wife made to husband per day that were not returned

4. No of poems written per year in praise of wife

5. No of sudoku print-outs brought per unit week

6. No of print-outs of airplanes / trains & other colouring pages brought for kids

==================End of Patience to make any more ===============