Presents for Wife

You know how, sooner or later, all conversations turn to what each woman got from her husband on her birthday / anniversaries / Valentine Days, etc.... Yes, we women are like that. We do compare notes...

Most of my friends and colleagues used to happily tell me about the flowers, jewellery, clothes, bags & other presents that they got. On Valentines, on Birthdays, on Anniversaries.... Wow !

Me ? Well, its a little embarassing... Let me see.... Birthdays? Nope, nothing !
Anniversaries? uh, uh! no such luck
Valentines?
Yes, once, I think.... Oh yes, I remember now. It was 8 years ago - yes, before we got married - He gave me a rose. .....Yes, Yes, I'm positive, that was the last one I received...

(Had I known it will be such a rare occurrence, I promise you, I'd have it mounted and framed in our house.)

Earlier, I used to sneak to his phone's calendar function & set alarms for buying presents. 30 days before Birthday: "Wife's birthday coming up. Buy a nice present". Repeat calendar function every week until D-day to ensure "I forgot" can't be an excuse.

But, come D-day, and husband would happily present himself empty-handed.
He: Happy Birthday
Me: Thanks.

....waiting...
nothing
.............waiting...
still nothing
.............................some more waiting...
Negative

By the end of day, I'm a little disappointed & a lot annoyed.....
Me : Do you know A's husband bought her a diamond bracelet on her birthday?
He : So?
Me : You never buy me anything
He : Whaa-aaat? Why would you want me to buy you stuff?
Me : Well it is my birthday today
He : So? Ok, Come here, I'll give you a much better present. I'll give you a kiss
Me : A kiss! I don't want a kiss! I want a present.
He : A present? You can buy whatever you want - why drag me into it?
Me : Because all the other husbands buy their wives stuff & then I feel jealous
He : Oh, you know men buy wives presents when they are having an affair. Guilty conscience!!
Me : ALL my friends husbands are having an affair ALL the time?
He : Well, its a depraved world out there !
Me : Never mind, you buy me stuff to show me you love me.
He : But I dont!
Me : Just pretend you do
He : Ok, ok....but why would a strong, confident woman like you wait for a mere man to give her stuff...its sooo "weak"
Me : I don't care. I want to be weak. I just want something on my birthday. Put in the effort of buying me something. But remember, I have to like it !
He : Don't be silly. If I buy it, how can you like it? Its an oxymoron
Me : Mummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Obviously, I don't like to tell people this (at least not the snooty ones - No, you aren't stuck-up. You can'e be - look at you, you're as pathetic as me! I write sidey blogs; and you're reading it). So, anyway, after a while I decided I just can't wait around for husband to be buying me presents. I had to do something -----


Lately,
Me (gleefully) : Husband, thank you! You bought me a really nice present for Valentines
He : What did I buy? What did I buy ?
Me : You bought me a Purse.
He (anxiously) : Wow! Did I spend a lot of money?
Me (determinedly) : Of course you did! Purses (or diamonds) dont come cheap. Its branded and limited edition. You really went through a lot of effort to get it for me.
He : Really! Wife likes it ? I'm happy! Can I see it ?
Me : Of course. See, its beautiful, I love it !!!! You really know what I like !
He (full of it) : I do have good taste, dont I?
Me (also full of it) : Yes you do, you married me, didn't you. Here's the credit card receipt. Don't forget to pay the bill. Its due next week ! Thank you hubband !
He : Happy Valentines Day
Me : You too

...and we live happily ever after