Made bread

Made bread. Yes I had the time. Remember I'm unemployed ?
Yes! I know, all of you think its a good thing. Yes, I also know I'm the only one who's bothered about this state-of-life.

So anyway, yes ! I made bread
No, It wasn't so difficult
I surprised myself.
It gave me a big kick. I didn't know I could.

Have I felt this pleasure before ?

What pleasure, you ask ?
Well, pleasure of seeing the bread rise the way it ought to
The pleasure of creating stuff from scratch with no machines
The pleasure of it smelling yummy
The pleasure of not being able to wait because the smell of cinnamon is driving you nuts
The pleasure of tasting nuts and knowing THIS is the real thing
The pleasure of looking at a foccacia and thinking - hey this looks just like from the bakery
The pleasure of a coffee and a cinnamon roll you actually made yourself
The pleasure of biting into it and it actually tasting good
The pleasure of feeding it to husband (wow! good job) and kids (ma! I don' wan')
The pleasure of passing it to friends
The pleasure of seeing the look of admiration & surprise

Well, it is pleasure with a capital P.

I need to do this more often.
One of those instances in my life which fall under the category of "Simpler pleasures in life"

Caught up with an aunt in ages. She's 80 and lonely. Sooo happy to talk to me. Every few minutes she'd say - OK, I'm sure you have to go now- and want to hang up. And be pleased when I'd say I'm in no hurry to hang up. We ended up chatting for 40 minutes. Towards the end she said no one wants to talk to her these days and that she's almost retreating in herself and consoling herself that this is life...

Made me think. Is this what I will end up as ? Lonely? Sad ? Helpless ? Resigned ?

I look at my Nani, who's over 90 - who has only one complaint from life (I think). She says she can't make her body obey her. It seems like the body has a mind of its own. Its frail & it prevents her from doing things that her mind is perfectly capable of.

How frustrating must a situation like this be? You're old and feeble; and there's nothing wrong with your mind. But you need assistance to walk, to eat, to get up, to use the toilet, for just about everything... You have to wait till people have the inclination (forget about the time) to talk to you. Your opinions are suddenly not important or relevant; and let's not even talk about your desires. You suddenly turn into a part of the house - the furniture ?Something that's always been there, something that has to be dusted ?

The sad part is that people around you are not unkind to you because they want to be unkind. Its the apathy that's killing. What do old people want ?

I am totally convinced that what the elderly need is time. They want opportunities for conversation; an opportunity to contribute. They need to be useful & wanted.

I remember my other grandmother. She lived with my parents off and on. And I remember one thing very clearly - the amount of time my dad would spend with her. After work, he made it a point to go rest in the adjoining bed, to chat up with her about her day or his. I like to think she enjoyed that time; and that she cherished it. Of course, it helped that we were young kids in the house and caused enormous hustle and bustle.

I wonder if we do that now i.e take time out for the parents. I certainly am guilty of a certain amount of apathy. So I don't necessarily take the time to talk to my in-laws at home or my parents over phone. And the parents are so understanding. They don't demand attention. They sit back & patiently tell themselves - its OK, things are different now. The children have busy lives and don't need any more intrusions.

But this situation needs to change.Of course, the biggest change I need to bring about is in me. I need to devote more time and attention to both sets of parents. Easier said than done. But let me try...

Perspectives

We and the world, are actually a wash basin.
Bhagwan-ji takes water & gargles. When he spits out the water, that's rain for us.
When he has taken a little too much water in his mouth & he spits that out, the rain is heavier...

Professor's theory on Rainfall.

Memories

As part of Professor's school assignment, he has to make a list of milestones of his life, together with suitable pictures.

This morning I rummaged through cupboards I never open & sorted through pictures of Professor as a baby. The whole experience was unnerving because I'd forgotten so many things - how he looked like a baby, how he smiled... That he was a nicely rounded baby (though we always had dadu fretting that he wasn't plump enough), his favourite toys, his crib, his high chair, his clothes. Things that have been long passed on to friends who were expecting babies. Things that CEO now considers his. That he had baby fat cheeks, that there was a time that he didn't wear glasses... That he was born just 50 cms tall and could fit into the palms of his father. The curious expression on his face during the mundan, or the simple pleasures of sitting in my shoe drawer. Playing with freshly washed clothes; or enjoying a watermelon with juice dripping all over.

Oh how frail is human memory. How is it that I've forgotten stuff that's less than 5 years old...

Tenacity

Tenacity = Not taking no for an answer. Persisting till you get your way.

CEO = Ma, Can you read me thees story?
(Ma normal. )
Ma = No.

CEO = Maa, Can you read me thees story?
Ma still normal. Slightly distracted.
Ma = Hmm... In a little while

CEO = Maa, Can you read me thees story? Now ? Pleeeez
Ma trying to be rational
Ma = CEO, Not now. Sweety, I'm reading my book (or cooking or watching TV).

CEO = Maa, Can you read me thees story?
Ma getting irritated
MA = CEO. I said NO!

CEO ignores all obvious signs.
CEO = Maa, Pleez Ma. Can you read me thees story?
Ma totally lost it. She hasn't read more than 3 lines on her book since this conversation started.
Ma = NO! I WON"T READ IT

CEO = Pleez Ma. I ask sho nicely. Why you don' wan' to read. Ma, can you read me thees book ?
Ma gives up.
Grudingly Ma = OK. Come! Ek baar ek farmer was working in the field.....

Packing for a typical road trip

It all depends on the duration we'll be in the car. This one is when its a 2-3 hour car trip. You DON'T want to know what I pack when we go on longer trips. All this goes into one bag, which the adults lug around on their backs when not in the car.

Apple - 2 no.
In seperate ziploc bags

Guava - 2 no.
Also in separate bags. With Black salt easily accessible

Grapes - Angoor Angoor!
Definitely not in ziploc bags. They get squished.

Biscuit sticks.
Option 1: Buy 2 sets of chocolate flavour. Advantage : No fighting in the car.
Option 2: Buy one chocolate + one strawberry. Disadv : Both might not want the strawberry. Adv : If one is "borrowing" from the other, he can be caught brown-or pink-handedly.

Fruitloops.
1 bag + 2 empty containers. Small

Coco-crunch.
1 bag. Use the empty containers already in the bag

Biscuits (Salty) + Indian Namkeen
For Dadu

Water. 4 bottles.
1 Legoland bottle. For CEO
1 bottle with whale picture. For Professor. That way, ma, the water doesn't drop on me...
2 large bottles. For adults. Plenty of paper cups. Sometimes with a pen to write names on.

Apple Juice - no added sugar
For Amma

Coke - Diet
For Husband & Self

Cold Coffee
For self

Coke or Sprite - Regular. Add Yakult, if available.
For kids

Straws. Flexible. Plenty. All colours.

Strawberry Yoghurt. With small steel spoon. Mismatched ones
For CEO
Actually 2 no. Sometimes Prof wants it too...

Totally unhealthy potato chips
For husband. He's on a holiday.

Poori + Potato + Achar rolls
For the grandparents

Poori +Potato
For Professor

Poori + Don't wan' anything
For CEO

Leftover of Poori rolls
for Husband

Hand sanitizer.
To clean hands after every possible dirty surface has been lovingly caressed by the boys.

Tissues.
Let's not even count them.

Wet wipes
For the kids to clean their seats with, when they can NOT be entertained with anything else.

J&J Powder, Baby Cream, Comb, Mosquito repellent, Towel.
For you-never-know-when-you-might-need-it. Ma's one cautious lady.

1 set of underwear + pants
For CEO. I got wet. Don' like. Don' like!

2 toys that have been out of sight for a while
Typically, the Matchbox series of cars / airplanes / 'elicopper

1 large garbage bag.

1 dirty rag

Old newspapers

CDs
For kids. For adults. To be played in turns.

Patience
Loads of it.

CEO spake

Maaaa
Maaa
Maaa
Why you not listening to meeeee ?
Can you get off the laptop chair and read me thees book? Now? Now?

Professor is ill with flu-like symptoms. No school. At home. Napping.
CEO is sleeping like the baby he often pretends to be.
The house is quiet.

Its a perfect time to do...and I don't know what to do

Desires

Getting itchy feet. Want to go somewhere...

so much in this world I haven't seen.

A demanding life

1. Make jelly - MANGO not strawberry.
2. Make black cookies - put in lots of chocolate.

...before I'm back from school.