Grief & How we deal with it

Have often felt that we feel grief as very private and happiness as public. Whenever I go back to my blog I realize that most of the postings were at times that I was at my happiest. And at that time, I was so okay with talking about my (mostly positive) feelings. But when the times turned hard, and when I felt low, I retreated to myself. Strangely my feelings turned private, and I was unwilling to share.

I have been asking myself why this is so?Why is it that when I am unhappy, I feel vulnerable? I've been thinking about it awhile and here is what I figured out-

To me, openly acknowledging that I am unhappy or that I am struggling is the equivalent to inviting pity, the "awww"s that I can do without. The well meaning advice "have you tried ...."; or, the "Be
strong, this too shall pass..." So many people I know are quick to offer hope, whether it is justified or not. (Its almost as if they know not how else to help). And when you bring yourself to hope and things dont get better the disappointment hits you hard. So the first instinct is perhaps, self preservation --> dont talk at all.

The other aspect is perhaps in viewing the state of unhappiness as failure. A failure to be happy? Or a failure to be in control of events that impacted my state of happiness!
No wonder there is the feeling of being vulnerable. And why would I (or anyone else) want to publicize my failure or vulnerability?

Lastly, I think unhappiness causes you to introspect. When one is happy, does one take the time to think why he/she is happy. At the time, we are so giddy with happiness, just reveling in that state; that we dont pause to think. But, when the things arent as hunky-dory, is that we stop, we startle and we think. The first question I feel that comes up is a Why?
Either its "Why Me? / What Did I Do To Deserve This?" or its "What Could I Have Done To Avoid This Situation?" While we go through the process of resolving this question (or its variant) in our minds, we end up retreating into ourselves.


Reasoning sounds coherent? Dont know if you agree or not. I am very curious to know what your answers are; so do take a moment to put that down for me...