How do I feel today?
I feel excitement, exhilaration; I feel accomplishment. Today is one of the days I can not forget in my entire life.... Today is the day I swam unattended and unassisted for more than half the pool length.

To most people I'm sure its no big deal; but to understand my happiness you have to know the fear that existed with me all this while. I'm 36 years old and all my life I have wished I could swim. I saw people jumping into the pool, kids & adults squealing with the joy of being in water; and only envied them from a distance....

Why? Well, ever since I can remember I've had this fear of water that just multiplied as I grew older. And with fear of water, let's face it, swimming is a non-option. Even though I've been learning to be in the pool for the last 1 year, I never could let go of my fear long enough to forgo the floats and the noodles and go solo.

So what happened today? I don't know. I really don't. But for some strange reason, I just decided to give it a try; and I did it. I could stay afloat in water, i could glide, I could kick and propel myself through the water... I felt free and alive and complete. I felt equal to the people around me. I was no longer self-conscious or defensive or wanting to fade into the water and the pool.

It makes me happy. It makes me feel proud...proud that I have taken another step in trying to conquer what I thought was impossible.

I'm happy. I'm exhilarated. I'm free...


Anonymous said...

Great! So proud of you. It is not easy by any means to get over fear of water. Doesn't it feel great to float in water. Way to go girl!!! V