How do I feel today?
I feel excitement, exhilaration; I feel accomplishment. Today is one of the days I can not forget in my entire life.... Today is the day I swam unattended and unassisted for more than half the pool length.
To most people I'm sure its no big deal; but to understand my happiness you have to know the fear that existed with me all this while. I'm 36 years old and all my life I have wished I could swim. I saw people jumping into the pool, kids & adults squealing with the joy of being in water; and only envied them from a distance....
Why? Well, ever since I can remember I've had this fear of water that just multiplied as I grew older. And with fear of water, let's face it, swimming is a non-option. Even though I've been learning to be in the pool for the last 1 year, I never could let go of my fear long enough to forgo the floats and the noodles and go solo.
So what happened today? I don't know. I really don't. But for some strange reason, I just decided to give it a try; and I did it. I could stay afloat in water, i could glide, I could kick and propel myself through the water... I felt free and alive and complete. I felt equal to the people around me. I was no longer self-conscious or defensive or wanting to fade into the water and the pool.
It makes me happy. It makes me feel proud...proud that I have taken another step in trying to conquer what I thought was impossible.
I'm happy. I'm exhilarated. I'm free...
