Is anyone jealous of me

I wonder about that. Yes, I do.

Well, often I look at people's life and I think - hey that's soooo cool. I would want that - So yes, I often get jealous of people who can travel to exotic places, are tall, are beautiful, are witty, are arty, are smart, can sing, can dance, are leggy, can swim & snorkel & dive, can draw & paint, can doodle, can bungee-jump, and run marathons, can write, can cook, can work, can control their tempers, can be good mothers and all that. Why, I only carry Tesco bags, not even a Gucci. Wow, before now, I never realized how many people I could be jealous of.

To me, jealousy doesn't have to be bitter or poisonous or all consuming. Its not that malicious feeling that makes you sabotage lives or hurt people; but instead its that momentary feeling of dissatisfaction with your own self. I know its not normal, but did I ever claim to be normal.

Rationally, even I know I'm seeing just one part of the life of people I'm jealous of -may be the glamorous one, and that I have no idea of what's behind there; but, in that instant, I'm jealous. I am human after all. All these feelings remind me of the short story called "The Grass is Always Greener..." that Jeffery Archer wrote as part of his short-story collection titled "To cut a long story short". He writes about how a homeless man envies a doorman, who envies his boss, who in turn envies the manager, and so on...

But the rationality doesn't stop me from wondering. And I wonder, does anyone look at my life and wish they had my life - my loving husband, my uncomplicated in-laws, my 2 kids, my books, my weird sense of humour, my time, my enthusiasm, my ability to make chocolate cakes (???), my laid-back attitude....

I wonder. May be I grasp at straws, but I sure hope there's someone in the world that is.